One of my closest friends and I, over a large bottle of red wine (naturally), discussed the point of sex this late Wednesday evening. If you ask the religious sect, they will tell you that the point is for procreation and nothing more. If you ask the pornography sect, they will tell you that the point is for profit and nothing more. If you ask promiscuous ladies and gents everywhere, they will tell you that the point is for recreation and nothing more.
However, if you ask me I will tell you that if it isn't really great or furthering a relationship, then frankly, there is no point. As I explained, quite bluntly, to one of my dearest friends, as I swirled my Shiraz in my glass, "if the sex isn't great, and I mean really great, then it is simply a huge waste of my time."
"What if it is for the furthering of a relationship?" She posed from her perch on the back of my couch.
"Well that counts too. Okay, so if the sex isn't great, or it is not for the purpose of furthering a romantic relationship and thus has the potential to become really great, then it is a complete waste of my time." She nods as if to say she agrees, but waits because she knows me, and knows that there is more. "The way I see it, is if I have someone that I can have sex with, and it's really great, then why would I go anywhere else? I like getting off. So why would I spend time training someone else to do that, if I have someone who already knows how?"
"Yeah, I can see that." I'm not sure she's convinced.
"Look, to be perfectly blunt, here's how I see it. I can get myself off in 5 minutes or less. Most men I'm with, it takes them 45 minutes. So if the sex is not really great, then I see those extra 40 minutes as a complete waste of my time, that I could be using to do something else. If those 40 minutes aren't being used to further my relationship, or aren't incredibly enjoyable, then I will end up wanting them back."
This conversation got me pondering all the many facets of sex. To those who have never participated in it, it's a novelty, although most find out soon enough that that first time is really not all it's cracked up to be, and that the newness wears off quite rapidly if it is bad...and often times it is bad, really bad. To those who have not had it in a very long time, it's a craving, much like the wintertime Seattlite craves the sun's warmth. To those who are stuck in a dead end relationship, it becomes a chore; something they try to avoid on pain of death. But those who have had a taste of really great sex, whether it be inside or outside of a relationship, think of it neither as a chore, nor a craving, nor a novelty, but as an indulgence; one of life's simple pleasures. If you think of it as either a task or a necessity, then clearly, you have not had really great sex.
If the sex isn't great, or it isn't for the purpose of furthering a relationship (and thus has the potential to become really great), then it is a complete waste of my time. Yes, you may quote me.
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