You are probably a DoucheBag if:

You start a fight with a pregnant woman at a baseball game because she isn't supporting the same team as you.

You completely ignore your girlfriend/fiance/wife in favor of playing a video game.

You shave your head and wear "bling" in your ear/ears and you are white.

You take up two parking spaces because you're afraid that your Benz/Beamer/Audi will get door dings.

You drink so much that you make inappropriate comments about an elderly woman seen on the news who was just murdered.

You make fun of your friends for not going out to party with you if they are tired and want to catch up on their sleep, especially if you are over the age of 22.

You have a Superman tattoo and you are NOT either Clark Kent or Shaquille O'Neal.

You try to dance right up on girl's asses in a club when they are CLEARLY there with just the girls.

You preach your religious or political beliefs on someone who didn't ask for them.

You use the word "Hella" (which technically isn't even a word).

You think that Beer Pong is the best game EVER invented.

You keg-stand past the age of 22.

Double-Douchbaggery:  Correlating the amount of time one can keg-stand to the amount of "pussy" one can obtain.

You use too much product in your hair, you wear too much Axe deodorant or you leave the sticker on the underside of the brim of your baseball hat, which you then wear sideways and slightly to the back.

You use steroids.

You are Dick Cheney.

You wear sunglasses when there is no sun.

You constantly "one-up" the stories of your friends, family and coworkers.

You don't remember the last time you were wrong about something.

You use all five washing machines in the basement of your apartment building because you either have too many clothes or you wait too long to do your laundry (eww), preventing all other residents from doing their laundry until you are finished.

You walk around with a bluetooth headpiece permanently attached to your ear because it makes you feel important.

You have ever taken a picture of yourself without a shirt on, in a mirror.

Double Douchebaggery:  Posting said photo on MySpace.

You buy a $50,000 car when you A) still live with your parents, B) still owe half of that in student loans, C) still work retail or D) all of the above.

You walk like you have a baseball bat thrust up your ass.

You send roses to your girlfriend at her workplace EVERY SINGLE TIME you piss her off.

You are in a service related profession and you give really bad service.  If you hate your job...FIND A NEW ONE.

You hit on someone else's girlfriend at a party.

Half of your MySpace friends are not actually personal acquaintances or friends of yours and/or they are only partially clothed.

You have ever said in all seriousness, "No Fat Chicks."

Double Douchebaggery: Your car/truck has a bumper sticker claiming "No Fat Chicks, The Bumper Will Scrape."

Unending Douchebaggery: Your car/truck is already lifted.

You've ever tried to start a mosh pit during a concert of ANY genre other than Punk or Metal.

Double Douchebaggery: You punch or kick people in said mosh pit.

You act as if and generally believe that no one else matters other than yourself.

You've ever overheard the words "douchebag", "asshole", "wanker", "pretentious", "prick", "fool" (not to be confused with "cool"), "jerk-off", or "eeww" when you've entered a room.

You use the words "bro" (sounds like "brah") or "homie" to refer to your friends.

You shop at Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister past the age of 18.

You have an over-inflated sense of self or if you don't know what that means.

...and I'm sure there are MANY more where that came from...